It’s inherently human to feel grief and yet it’s one of the loneliest feelings in the universe. However, language should not interrupt one’s grief, so if this does; stop reading.
Grieving is advertised as two options, one where pain is released and one where pain remains. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. The two options relate to how grief is held with the adversity of loss. The refusal to allow the affliction of death deprives individuals of accepting the love they once received. Either accept the pain and find moments of bliss in the agony, or reject it and cement oneself in anguish.
Before
Before grief is imposed into an individual’s life, the image is only found in mere glimpses in time.
In childhood, it’s found where passions dwindle, where the imaginary friend fades and where adventure quiets. In adulthood, it’s found where youth recedes, where love departs and where dreams wane.
Grief strikes incessantly whether it’s acknowledged or not. Though the minuscule losses can be admired from a distance. The confrontation lingers until the anticipated tragedy of a loved one.
During
The discussion surrounding grief is quiet. Silenced in the media, but whispered in the arts. Whether understanding is found in Epitaph by Merrit Malloy, “Love doesn’t die,/ People do./ So, when all that’s left of me/ Is love,/ Give me away”, where the narrative of grief is framed in love. Murmured in the rhythm of Alaskan Tapes “All We Can’t See ”, detected in the smell of coffee reminiscent of the one mom used to brew in the morning or gazed upon in the blanket grandma knitted that’s landed in each new home found since they’ve left. Grief is discovered at the juncture of loss and love, alternating between delicate pain and gratified emotion.
After
After is a fictitious idea. There’s only with, with the layers of loss. The loss of frail bodies and wrinkled smiles. The loss of gentle hands and sweet kisses. Most importantly, the loss of time with the one you need, want or desire to be with.
There’s no apology for the truth of death. Everyone is going to die, without fail. But the love beaming from the essence of a soul will radiate till there’s no longer a soul to remember.
