Playing music used to define me, but not anymore. Of course, it’s a part of who I am, of what I do, but throughout my life I have branched out, you know. I’m studying Journalism. I’m finding a way so I don’t have to be only a musician.

I think writing comes easy to me. I used to study Graphic Design as well, and when it came to the point of trying to find solutions to things or ways of conveying messages, I always ended up presenting a simple little visual but a really long written explanation. I had to make a choice: to keep working with visuals until I managed well, or to try to capitalize on writing, something that I felt more comfortable with.

Passion for me has been a very elusive concept over the years. Maybe it’s because I idealize it. I mean, what is passion? Is passion something within you that you discover? Or is it the type of motivation that you cultivate day after day through action and nurturing? For example, it’s easy for me to be passionate about music if I have the time for it day after day; setting goals, working towards something, and that way I’ll look forward to practice, to produce something.

I’m in a complicated spot when it comes to music though. I have a conflict between those teenage years when I really wanted to tour the world as a musician, and now as an active musician still asking myself why I chose this path, what am I doing now. Do I make music because I want money? Social proof? I’m still contrasting these things and trying to find a certain balance.

If music becomes a thing you do because you have to do it, or that you have to play certain types of music because you need to make money, it’s difficult. I’m not saying I’m completely soul-less when I play music, just that it’s a very different experience than when I played ten or fifteen years ago.

Photo Courtesy of Jakub Doležal

Chau was the Editor-in-Chief of Lennon Wall magazine from July 2017 to June 2018. During her term, she gave editorial directions, oversees the operation and set policies. She was also responsible for the final products of the magazine.